My fully vaccinated parents flew out from NY to spend some time with us and their awesome granddaughter in California a few weeks ago. Bill and I took full advantage of the free and trustworthy childcare to plan some fun long bike rides together! We have gone biking with Kalliszta, and while she loves looking at bikes, playing with the pedals, saying “bringa!” (the Hungarian sound a bike bell makes), and sitting up high on the back of my bike, she despises wearing a helmet. We think her dislike for having a helmet on is stronger than her desire to ride on the back of a bike. 

The day after my folks arrived, we drove to Napa to enjoy a wonderful covid-safe adventure through wine country. The next day, Bill and I rode across the Golden Gate Bridge from Golden Gate Park in the middle of the city and back while Kalliszta played at a playground with Mima and Nagypapa (what Kalliszta calls my mom and dad respectively). It was a typically windy ride but it felt really great!

Then the next weekend we were gearing up to bike across the Bay Bridge from the East Bay to Treasure Island… but… we ended up at the ER instead. As relatively new parents, it was bound to happen one day, and now I’m a parent who has experienced that milestone! 

About an hour before we had planned to leave, Bill and I were playing with Kalliszta in the living room. Bill was sitting cross-legged on the floor and she was sitting in Bill’s lap. When she reached toward the ground for a toy or something with her right arm, she must have leaned wrong because Bill heard a pop. She obviously started crying, but when she didn’t stop soon after like she normally does after a little bump or bruise, and was not holding her milk bottle or really using her arm, we decided to go to the ER, just to be safe. She was still in her footie pjs since it was morning, but we took her sleeve off very carefully. We grabbed her blankie, her backpack, a bottle of milk, and drove the 5 minutes to the UCSF children’s hospital ER in Oakland. We didn’t put her arm all the way in the car seat because we didn’t want to move it at all. She cried most of the way there.

Only one parent was allowed in due to Covid, so Bill waited patiently for the 2+ hours Kalliszta and I were inside. It seemed like we were the only ones at the ER that morning. Our first stop was triage, and Kalliszta was not a fan. She did not like having her vitals taken, and I was hugging her and telling her how much I loved her and how proud I was of her being so brave at the hospital. I told her it is ok to feel scared or however she was feeling because this is all new and scary and she is in pain. I told her I was scared too and felt sad that there wasn’t anything I could do to make her not feel hurt. During our time in triage, she was trying so hard to get away from the nurse while I was holding her that I felt her elbow against me pop or crack. I think at the end of the day, that is what needed to happen, for the thing out of place to pop back into place. Though most of this time Kalliszta was crying, I declined any pain meds for her because she has never had any, and it wouldn’t do the doctor any good in terms of a diagnosis if nothing hurt her. 

We were moved to our own room and our triage nurse turned on the TV. This was a solid move, and a special treat for Kalliszta who has never watched TV. Though we were in that room for a long time, with doctors coming in now and again to check on her wrist, hand, elbow, and shoulder, she was loving the Disney channel. She didn’t love the doctors, but she loved the dinosaur cartoon and Paw Patrol. She laughed out loud while watching! During our time in the room, the Drs. Menon called us from San Diego, and gave the diagnosis of Nursemaid Elbow. They got my snapchat and I was so happy to get a call from them. Kalliszta did not like being touched by the doctors, and they only touched her arm very little. Most of what we had her try was to show her using her whole arm: I laid her on her stomach on the bed to see her push herself up by putting weight on her arm (she did) and to show off how big she is (“So Big”!). Despite her mobility and use coming back over the hour plus we were in the room, we were still sent for an X-Ray of her wrist. 

We followed a nurse to the elevator to the second floor, where the two X-Ray technicians swiftly took 3 pictures of her arm. She didn’t love that I had to hold her down on the table – she doesn’t like laying down on her back that much – but it was over very quickly. We went back to our room to await the results and got to watch more of that dino show. She was all about it. At some point, I changed her out of her footie pjs so she could walk around the room, and gave her a new diaper since the other one was full of pee. Finally the doc came back and said that nothing was broken or fractured, as we both suspected, given that she seemed to be moving normally. Only after we left did I realize it was weird that we never got a diagnosis or an explanation of what the doctors think it was. I am convinced that Vijay and Pooja are right (they are so smart) about it being Nursemaid Elbow. It turns out to be super common for kids of her age. It is basically when a tendon in the elbow moves out of place. It sounds super painful, but is “easy” to wiggle it back into place. Because toddlers’ joints are still malleable, it happens at this age a lot. Since telling this story to a handful of people, I have been met with responses like, “yeah that happened to our daughter too” or “yeah, that happened to my sister because I was swinging her around” and it makes me feel a little better that I am not a failure as a parent for letting up on my constant vigilance. But then I think back to the weekend before, when I was swinging her by her arms doing the 1, 2, 3 per her request. That may or may not have anything to do with it. And though we are now not going to swing her by her arms anymore, I can’t stop her from wanting to hang on the bars at the playground. She’s a natural.