We did it – pulled the band-aid off and moved almost all the way across the country! It was going to happen eventually, so that Kalliszta could live close to her cousins, and the pandemic expedited things. We made the decision a month before we had to give our thirty day notice that we would not be renewing our rental lease in Oakland. It was just enough time to get all the logistics worked out: movers to pack a pod, a truck to ship the pod, movers to unpack the pod, a truck to ship the car, and find a place to live on the other side of the move. We finalized which place we were going to rent (inventory was low) about a week before we moved out here. We took a virtual tour with an agent and trusted Google Maps street view. We were looking in a small area because we wanted to be a short drive from Kalliszta’s cousins’ house – which we are! There actually was a house for rent across the street from their house but they wanted a 2 year lease, and we are hoping to not be renting by this time next year. But that location would definitely have been awesome.

Our townhouse is pretty great though. It is twice as big as our spot in Oakland and half as much. It is not as new and nice (we can’t flush the toilet when someone is showering, and the kitchen is an eye sore that lacks storage) but it works for now. And what’s funny is now that we live in the suburbs, we can walk to a grocery store and a big nice playground, which we couldn’t do in Jack London Square! And the best part is that we open the sliding door in the living room to the big open green grassy lawn that is shared with all the community residents. It is pretty great for getting outside time asap. Living on the top floor of an apartment building made for a huge mental barrier when trying to go outside. Did I pack everything in the stroller for the baby? Did I pack everything in the stroller for me? How long will we have to wait for the elevator? Did I bring a paper towel to touch the elevator buttons? Did I bring a paper towel for the building’s front door and elevator buttons for our way back up? Is there plenty of hand sanitizer? Do I need to pee? Should I change Kalliszta before we go outside? Should I bring extra snacks? Now I just open the door and we are outside in the green grass.

We actually didn’t tell Bill’s parents we were moving because we thought it would be a fun surprise! We landed on the day of our oldest nephew’s birthday, so we went straight to their house from the airport to the party. And sure enough, they were so surprised! Bill’s brother and sister-in-law did a great job keeping the secret! At first they just thought we were just visiting for the birthday, so there was another surprise that evening when we answered “forever!” to the question of “how long are you here for?” Good thing our nephew turned 10, otherwise we would not have moved. 😉

It is unlikely I would have chosen this exact township/village/suburb to live out the rest of my life (or at least until all my kids finish high school) because it is far from the city (an hour drive), politically purple neighboring villages (but mostly blue thank goodness), and my personal grappling with raising my kids in a place where the history of redlining has its roots (some resources: mapping inequality, article, 9-minute video) and where the effects of racist discrimination are still seen and felt. The truth though, is that the Bay Area is not better. Brooklyn is not better. I mean, the entire country was founded on – and still embodies – white supremacy, patriarchal principles, oppression, and suppression as we live on stolen land. I’m very aware that this post is going out on the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre (some resources: interactive article, article, 24-minute podcast), which was not something taught in schools (at least not public suburban schools), but I do plan on teaching my children the true history of America – the one not written by land (and people) owning white men in positions of power. But this post is not about America’s inability to admit it’s true history, grapple with the effects, and right the wrongs of its multitude of current and past problems to actually and truly be “the land of the free”; it’s about us moving and living in the Chicago suburbs now! (Find what Indigenous Peoples’ land you live on here.)

I have been so lucky, and fully recognize my privilege, to have been born in Budapest to smart, highly educated white parents, grow up blond and blue-eyed in Southern California, experience living in New York City and Los Angeles as a young adult, and San Francisco and Oakland as a not-as-young adult, and spend 6-9 months – long enough to have a favorite restaurant and pick up the language a teeny tiny bit – living in Rome and Nairobi. These are all amazing cities and places not only to visit, but to fully experience as a resident and feel an ownership and pride in each of those places. To notice the changing seasons and the changing businesses and the changing of people. To feel connected as a “local”. And now I have the opportunity to fully embrace Chicago, and more specifically the northwest suburbs. We have been here for only 2 months and have already had some really great experiences: weekly play days with the cousins, lots of parks department activities like Tot Rock music and dance class, gymnastics, and soccer, trips to the city, lots of cousin birthday celebrations, Monday Trash Truck Day(!!) and bike rides. While we are all scared for the winter, right now the weather is just perfect. It almost never gets this nice in the Bay Area, so I think we made the right decision. Now we just need to buy a house (or build a house?!) and have my parents move next door, and this place will be the perfect place to raise a family. Hoping that all those dreams come true by this time next year. Stay tuned…