Where were we… oh yes! The greatest day of my life. Let’s continue:

On Monday morning I tried to sleep in a tiny bit but couldn’t really. I go to the party suite, have breakfast, chat a bit, take a shower (but don’t wash my hair per the orders of the hair lady), say “seeya later!” to Bill, then head down to the bridal suite – a big room with huge windows that we used as our getting ready room and storage room. It was upstairs in the main hotel building right across the hall from the ballroom where the reception would be and behind the nice lounge where our cocktail hour would be which was convenient because I kept checking in on the progress of the ballroom, and things were looking beautiful. It was during the getting ready time that I deeply felt the missing presence of one of my best friends and bridesmaids. Just a day or so earlier she had a medical emergency and wasn’t cleared by the doctors (or me and the other bridesmaids for that matter) to get on an airplane and be in a wedding. She is back to healthy now, but it was scary, and I really really really missed her all weekend. She did however send a video of her doing a wiggle in her bridesmaid dress and it made me smile but also cry.

Everyone’s hair and makeup gets done and then it’s my turn. I did a trial with the professionals a month or so back, which I thought would be a waste of time and money but was great actually because my makeup on that trial day was waaaaaaaay TOO much – I came out looking like my alter ego: a beautiful and confident drag queen named Mimi Elizabeth with fake lashes and high cheekbones. I told the makeup lady to tone it all waaaaaay down, as the look I was going for was more of a natural beauty. It’s ironic that we need makeup to make us look natural, but it’s what society tells us we have to do #pinktax. The makeup lady did a great job, and I felt – and obviously was – really beautiful! She even hid that forehead zit pretty well.

The plan was to do all the wedding photos before the ceremony so that Bill and I wouldn’t miss any part of our own party. We had planned to do the “first look” photos at 3:30pm where Bill would be waiting downstairs in the main lobby of the hotel and I walk down the grand staircase all dressed up to meet him in new outfit number 4, the actual wedding dress. I really liked my dress because it was lacy, sparkly, and it fit like a glove. It was so beautiful, and I looked really beautiful, and more importantly Bill thought it was beautiful and that I looked really beautiful. Good thing too because the alterations (to take it IN!!! – the dress came off of the mannequin so that made me feel good – and shorten it, and fix the shoulders, and put in an invisible zipper, and add a bustle and whatever else) cost almost as much as the dress. I could probably have done a million more push-ups in the days leading up to the wedding so that my arms looked more toned, but it’s fine, that’s just what my arms look like. Bill and I get our “first look” on the stairs/in the lobby, I cry, and then we ready for a photoshoot! We go back up the grand staircase and head over to the Red Oak Mansion.

The Red Oak Mansion is part of the hotel, and everything about the hotel was just awesome. It was a beautiful space and it couldn’t have been a better venue. Because this was a winter wedding and a New Year’s Eve wedding, it was important to us that no one would have to drive to their accommodations or even go outside if the weather was terrible. The hotel complex was made up of 3 buildings, all connected by these interior bridges, so we were able to go from the Red Oak Mansion where the ceremony was, to the main hotel building where the cocktail hour and reception was (and this main building also has the lobby, the restaurant, the pool, and other function rooms), to the guest room building where all the sleeping rooms were obviously. I loved that everything was inside but it still felt like totally different venues, to me at least. The Renaissance Westchester Hotel comes highly recommended for your venue needs, and the Events team clearly knew what they were doing. Oh man, the hotel was literally perfect and so great… although…

There was a harsh phone call with the front desk manager on Saturday afternoon when I found out that 3 rooms of Bill’s family were NOT on the 4th floor, and I flipped out* (*read: had a very angry one-sided conversation where I told the manager that I was guaranteed by the Events department that everyone in our hotel block would be on the 4th floor, so I don’t care where the communication breakdown was, I need it fixed in that all guests arriving from now on need to be on the 4th floor and those that are not need to have the option to move). The one thing that was important to me was that everyone was together and felt included, which partly meant we were all on the 4th floor. I understood the front desk wanting to give each customer an excellent check-in experience in that as soon as they arrive they are given a room right away. I get it. As someone who flipped out** (**read: silently was angry to myself/Bill and left such a bad review on the in-room customer satisfaction sheet that the next morning the manager was waiting outside of our room to apologize) once for NOT having a room ready upon arrival to a super fancy safari lodge, I get that in the hospitality industry the default is to give a room right away to travelers who are sweaty and need to poop. That phone call was my only Bridezilla moment, which I think is fine because it wasn’t about me, but about our guests. From my understanding, everyone was given a room on the 4th floor because the hotel staff made sure the 4th floor rooms were ready and cleaned first. And IF a room wasn’t ready upon a guest’s arrival, I think they were given the option to check in to another room on a different floor or wait until their room was ready. But since we had the party room/hospitality suite, folks waited for their room to be ready in there, with the food, drinks, music, friends, etc. So that was good.

So now Bill and I are doing some photos around the inside of the hotel. Pro Tip: Winter Weddings are great because everywhere you go will have some sort of decoration with lights or greenery. And because we were in New York, a lot of the holiday decorations are non-denominational, they are just wintery, so it was perfect for photo time. I mean, places will have a tree, but it will be silver or gold or white and not red and green. Then in the Red Oak Mansion I am told to stand in one spot and for the next hour or hour and a half, and we do pictures with everyone and they have to come to me and Bill. The one picture we didn’t get that I am sad about was one with my parents AND Bill’s parents. There was a lot of chaos and commotion and by this point I was no longer in charge of anything, so it was inevitable something would get missed. Pictures wrap up 30-60 minutes or so before guests start arriving, and I don’t really remember much of that time other than the whole wedding party hanging out in the anteroom behind the ceremony room with music and an air of excitement. But before everyone started to hang out in that room, I remember having a really great poop that set me up for success for the rest of the night because I didn’t have to go again! Then it was time for the ceremony. It was such a great feeling walking down the aisle with my dad with Bill waiting up there for me and with all the family and friends around us!

Things I remember about the ceremony:

• I cried a lot: I would look at Bill and start to tear up so I would look slightly to my right and see my mom crying so then I would look back to Bill and now I was right where I started. I had one tiny crinkled tissue I used the whole time and I could have used five more at least.
• I loved that our guests who spoke words of wisdom did such a great job. I was so honored they all agreed to be part of our ceremony.
• My godmother’s son (my godbrother?) Tamás was the celebrant, and he did such an incredible job leading the ceremony. Bill and I wrote our own ceremony, and my mom translated it to Hungarian, and Tamás was so fantastic reading in both English and Hungarian. Wow. I was blown away and people told us what a great job he did. I agree. Bill and I did forget to put in the part to say everyone can sit down, since they stood up when my dad and I walked down the aisle. Oops! But people did sit down after the opening words anyway so that was fine.
• I kind of wished I had changed the lighting for the ceremony, but we left all the lights on so that the photographer didn’t need to use a flash during the ceremony. Hopefully the professional pictures come out great because the lighting definitely felt a little harsh.
• Bill and I watched the video that my uncle and family friend took (köszönöm Feri és Béla!) and I was very thankful for my sister. She took her job as Maid of Honor very seriously because she fanned out my dress train behind me, and then she did it again after the words of wisdom because I turned my body to face the audience and I messed it up. Thanks Angie! ❤
• I could have spoken a little louder during our vows but the tears in my eyes were making it hard to read the words!
• I wasn’t in love with the carpet with the brown and yellow leafy pattern. The scale of the pattern was just wrong. And the stark contrasting colors didn’t help. Or maybe it was the harsh lighting. Oh well, there’s always photoshop I guess.

Then we kiss and lead the way to the party! We walk down the long hallway/bridge to the cocktail hour. Instead of a receiving line that would slow down people getting to the drinks, Bill and I stand in one spot so that people can come up to us if they want. We talk to guests, they bring us food, and they bring us drinks. Important side note: my Hungarian family brought like 20 bottles of Hungarian palinka (schnopps) that the bartenders were serving to those who dared, which I thought was awesome. If you have never tried palinka before, it tastes and feels like what nail polish remover smells like: pure alcohol burning your throat with a slight aftertaste of whatever fruit it claims to be made of, but that part might just be in my head. It really clears all your sinuses though. One of my favorite parts of the wedding details was the Table Trivia that Bill and I came up with! Instead of the traditional table numbers, each person’s name card had a trivia question on it, and the answer to the trivia was the name of their table. Some questions were probably too easy, but they were all getable, and somehow related to Bill and me. I was surprised there was less talk about that, because I thought that trivia activity would be a bigger hit. But I think the copious amounts of pre-seated-dinner food was the highlight of the cocktail hour. And the open bar.

The Events team shows me and Bill the grand ballroom before everyone goes in, and it is SO beautiful! It was perfect with the lighting, and the centerpieces, and the table settings with the HAND PAINTED COOKIES for EVERY SINGLE GUEST courtesy of my mom and grandma! Our sweetheart table had a cool fancy white loveseat, a big hand painted cookie, and two giraffes hugging (thanks Aunt Kathie!), plus lots of beautiful flowers. We go back out to the cocktail lounge and then all the guests are shown in to the ballroom. Everyone found their trivia answers and seats. Then the DJ announces each bridal party member, and then Bill and I walk/strut in and take center stage to do our first dance. We dance to two songs that Bill edited to flow together into one. He is so good at computers. We don’t do anything too fancy, just some spins and more different kinds of spins, and a dip or two. Every time we practiced I would cry happy tears so we couldn’t really get too fancy with the choreography. But I think it was just perfect! And I also still cry when I hear the songs. Then my dad and I do the father daughter dance. We dance to a song by the Hungarian Beatles called Illés about this guy who doesn’t really know where he is going (on the street, in life, you get it) and the chorus is him saying “but where, but where, but where am I going” and my dad and I are shrugging looking around during this part, and then the last part he figures out where he is going because he is going to his partner and going to be with his partner, and during this part my dad and I go to get our respective partners (my mom and Bill), pull them on stage, and dance with them! While I don’t support the couple-normative narrative of the song because people can know where they are going whether or not they choose to have a partner, it is a great and upbeat song. Then Bill and his mom danced the mother son dance to a sweet song and I’m pretty sure his mom cried the whole time, because I did.

The dinner gets served, toasts are made by Bill’s brother and my sister, cake gets cut, photo booth gets a lot of love the whole night, drinks get drank, and songs are danced to. I wished there was more time to get to walk around to talk to every single person during dinner and after. But I had to eat too, and it felt like there was so much going on and I could only be in one place at once. But there were a few conversations where people brought up this blog and how much they (and their moms, like Mrs. Debbie Kolb!) like it, and how they are fans, and that felt good! #DarrenP #JP #Eric #mymom. I enjoyed the dinner but the cake even more so – we had two kinds and I liked the “Crumbella Deville” vanilla cake, almond cheesecake filling, Michigan tart cherries, streusel crumbs cake the best and I ate a lot of it. I actually kept eating if after the wedding, because it tasted great and didn’t want to wait a year to eat it. #marshmallowexperiementfailure. Plus I didn’t eat all of it because it was a whole cake top, so there is at least half of it in the freezer at my parents’ house for eating later. Anyway, enough about the delicious cake. My dream for this wedding was for everyone to have a great time and that everyone makes it to midnight. Mind you we had guests age 2 to 82 and still my dream came true!!!!!! Every single person, from kid to retired kid, had a fun time and stayed up/at the party (asleep in strollers/parents’ arms)! My oldest nephew even said that when he grows up he wants to throw a big fun party like this too! One thing that helped guests have fun is that everyone invited is a good and fun person, and I think the weekend events leading up to the wedding allowed everyone to meet and get to know each other and it was like people were old friends by the time the reception came around. Also, we had glow in the dark balloons which are hours of fun for all ages. When my mom showed me that she had bought two packs of them, I really questioned it, but around 10:30/11pm people started blowing them up and they took the party from a 10 out of 10 to an 11 out of 10. Lesson learned: never doubt moms.

Speaking of moms, I am dedicating this paragraph to my mom who, for the past 6 months, in addition to being a full time nanny of 3 kids, the only things she did were for the wedding, for Bill and I, for our guests, and for the great event. She did so much for me and for everyone. I mean she frickin’ drove to Kentucky to take a cookie making workshop to hand paint cookies for all the guests. Plus endless trips to Costco and Michaels and Ikea and fabric stores, and arranging shuttles and hotels (not just the wedding hotel but in the city too for after the wedding) for my non-English speaking family, and arranging everything with the Hungarian photographer from travel and lodging and schedule and whatever else there was before, during, and after the whole weekend. I honestly don’t know how she did it – and even those last 5 days when she only had one working hand (remember, she slammed her finger in the car door and it rendered her right hand almost useless). From initiating all the organizing with the venue (remember how Bill and I lived in Kenya for most of the time leading up to the wedding), to planning for every guests’ needs at the hotel and beyond, to thinking of details that I missed, to organizing and driving everyone everywhere on the days after the wedding, she made the whole weekend so memorable and I am so grateful to her. There is no way I will ever be able to repay her for all her work. She is the kind of person who, if Bill or I need something, she will drop everything and go miles and hours out of her way to make sure we are happy. She is always putting other people first, and I was so happy that on the day of the wedding, she took the time for herself and was able to put aside planning and prepping to just enjoy herself and have the best time. Someone who also had the best time: my dad! I loved that he had so much fun, and him having so much fun made me have more fun and I’m glad he enjoyed it because he sure paid a lot for it! I’ll take this moment to thank my parents and Bill’s parents again for their very large monetary contributions towards all things wedding. It was unnecessary but incredibly appreciated. We are very lucky to have such wonderful people as parents. We love you Mom and Dad and Mom and Dad!!

Now we are an hour away from midnight, so it’s time for our outfit change. I put on new outfit number 5, a party dress with oversized white-pinkish sequins and bright pink high tops that light up. Bill loved this dress too! Bill puts on his sequins vest and we are ready to go back to the party and dance it up for another two hours! The waiters pass out the champagne, and guests go get the noisemakers and NYE hats and glasses so we can ring in the new year in proper attire. At midnight the DJ plays the customary Auld Lang Syne and follows it up with the Hungarian national anthem as is customary in Hungary. My family really liked that we did that. Then we go straight into Katy Perry’s Firework. Not only is that a fitting song for New Year’s Eve because of the fireworks, but the video was filmed in beautiful Budapest. Filling out the 7 page document that the DJ emailed us was a fun activity to do together with Bill and Spotify. At 1am the party shuts down, (in that we have to leave the ballroom) so we grab the leftover alcohol and head back to the party suite. Some guests stayed up til 4 or 5, but Bill and I had to tap out of the party suite around 2am, even though the party was still going strong!

Let’s skip to the next morning when we all meet back up in the party suite for breakfast, with me in sort-of-new outfit number 6. Technically the sweater I was wearing, a millennial pink with a slight sparkle, was a rented piece, but I ended up keeping it. Shoutout to Bill’s dad who did an extra grocery run for some more supplies and food. After we eat, chat with guests, and relive fun memories of the day and days before, it’s time for Bill and I, and our photographer Janos, to go to the city for a photoshoot – so I got to wear new outfit number 4 again! You may remember Janos from the engagement blog post, because he is the same photographer! Bill and I get dressed back up (hooray I got to wear new outfit number 4 again!), and we pile into my sister’s car and head to Brooklyn Bridge Park. Major shoutout, thanks, and props, to my sister Angela and my bridesmaid Emily for giving up their ENTIRE day to help us on this photoshoot. They held our stuff, held Janos’ flash equipment thing, they fixed our clothing, and basically did everything that was helpful in moving the photoshoot along and making it a success. THANK YOU Emily and Angela, could not have done it without you!! It really was incredible what you did for us. It was a fun day, and we can’t wait to see the pictures. Luckily Emily is an amazing photographer herself and snapped a few good ones too. It was a long day as we hit up some major sights in the city. And in Times Square, random people were taking our picture too! Pretty sure they thought we were celebrities. 

And the fun didn’t stop there on January 1st, as family and friends were still in town for the next few days/week so there were a few more opportunities for quality time together. Bill and I stayed at the hotel until the 2nd, which was good that we had some extra time to get all our stuff together before moving back in with mom and dad for a week. That morning, Bill’s parents, his brother, his brother’s wife, and their 4 kids come over to our suite for breakfast. It was really nice to just be with them since we didn’t get to spend more time together earlier in the weekend. Over the next few days, we do some NYC sightseeing, meet up with family who have now moved into hotels in the city, and go to eat Ethiopian food. I’m sure other things happened too, but that’s all I can remember right now. A week after the greatest day of our lives, Bill and I pack up our suitcases once again, and move across the country. Things on the to do list in California: change both of our middle names to my maiden last name, change my last name to Bill’s last name, find me a job, find us a residential dwelling, play some frisbee on the beach.

Overall, the entire weekend and experience was so wonderful and memorable and I am so happy and thankful to everyone: I am still riding the high, and I hope it never fades. 100% satisfied, would recommend.